The New U.S. Constitution As Written By Trump

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It didn't take Trump long to turn the Bill of Rights into the Bill of Alt-Rights.

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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

I'd love to hear this administration defend its statements on health care and pre-existing conditions. Please, Mr. Trump, tell me what my younger sister did to deserve being autistic. Tell me what I did to deserve having severe social anxiety. Tell me what my friend did to deserve her crippling depression. And then go fuck yourself. Hard. With a cactus.
Alfred Russel
You will understand Putin better after you study Vladimir Megre Ringing Cedars phenomenon.
The 'shirtless in the wild with bears' image anyway.
And the spiritual renaissance, apparent from his UN and other speeches.
Tristan Neal
You take our 1st Amendment and we're coming for your 2nd.
Bradley Venn
Do these late night propaganda clowns talk about anyone or anything else? I'm from Britain so maybe this kind of propaganda is obvious to me.
Billy Holmes
my dream for all you American haters is for someone to ram a 3in pvc pipe up your asses then thread bobwire wire up to PVC pipe then remove the PVC pipe and slowly yank out the bobwire. good thing democrats and leftist hate guns because we love them and practice with them and are just waiting for you asshole to push to far and kik of another civil war I don't think safe spaces nor your snowflake feelings will help you dick sucking whore
Caroline de Haas
Championship infection presidential abyce perspective various surprising present wish diet midnight.
James David
Colbert is Libtard propagandist shill for Democrat party, everything he says is biased.
mark lawson
so pretty much if your sick keep it to yourself
J Espinoza
Angie Poo
I swear this show is the only reason I can tolerate the news right now. I still mute when trump is talking.
Lilac Lizard
That constitutional amendment is so FAKE! As if Donald knows words as big as "abridging" or "quartered"!
It is uncanny how much Ross looks like that puppet.
Johnny Murgatroyd
When I think of the average Trump supporter, I think of someone in rude good health, who will do nothing but contribute to healthcare they never use.
"That's how performance reviews go"... funny!
Dwayne Reviews
If you back down now you're a coward.

More homophonic racist jokes please ::

Radiance Gaming
Can some one please fire Jon Baptiste?
Does depression count as a pre-existing condition? Because if it does, Republicans are heartless bastards, taking away coverage and medication to directly make depressed people's lives worse. I should know. I'm one of those people.
Elio Lopez
God bless Colbert! And thank you Steve for standing your ground on your schtick with the orange ahole.
Alex M
The musician Jon Batiste needs to shut up. His interruptions during monologue are so annoying!
My mother had cancer. Is she a bad person? My friend was born with diabetes. Is he a bad person? My grandparents have arthritis. Are they bad people? Are our veterans who lost limbs, have chronic pain and/or post-traumatic stress disorder bad people? I don't understand republican logic.
J Garcia Arizaga
haha fattie trump jokes kill me hahaha ....litteraly he killing all.
chris B
Two prominent South Carolina supporters of Barack Obama pressured the state Democratic council to keep Stephen Colbert off the primary ballot. The Council voted 13-3 last week against Colbert's placement on the ballot.
This mother fucker, healthy. I've killed my knees busting my ass, what should have done? Not worked so fucking hard? Stupid son of a bitch, republicans....
char byte
IMPEE PEECH Apprentice Trump for gross incontinence NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ian Patrick
If healthy people should not have to pay into a universal health plan, then why should peaceful people have to pay into a military machine?
Seamus Murphy
so basically if it's got Obama's name on it it has to go
that's the Republican logic
SC proves hes running out of material....bleeding the liberal Russia hysteria dry....what an intolerant asss
Attack Doge
President Putin... HA!!
Almost as dumb as "The people's Republic of Korea," or North Korea.
Stephen R McDonald
The truth be told!!! "the Donald" is SO ENVIOUS & JEALOUS of Putin & Kim Jong-Un!!! Because they are DICTATORS!!! They DON'T have to answer to ANYONE!!! They call ALL the shots!!! Poor Don can't just make decisions and "snap" his fingers and it's done!!!like he could do for his little reality show!!! NOT!!!! LOLđŸ˜‹
Michael Bond
Trump is trying to run America the way he runs his Companies. His Profits & his needs come before everything! How long before any criticism of the Donald becomes a capital offence? How long before all visiting Foreign Heads of State have to stay in Trump Hotels? How long before all TV channels except Fox are closed?
Americans can't already afford Obamacare and are going broke because of it. What is Colbert talking about????
Fire his ass! A rock is more funny than him.
Lisa Cheney
Trump is the most thin skinned pos ever.
"EHUR, HUR, That's a joke!" For the love of god please turn that dimwits microphone off he contributes NOTHING
I don't get it. Neither of the two major political parties follow the Constitution.
Can you please refrain from talking so close to the camera ?
SP 12
Colbert for president!! Funny how the people obsessed with the second amendment forgets the first..... The irony of the US is that dumb f&@ks who voted for trump is the segment of the population who believes in the biblical apocalypse...
tic toc
Not good that the POTUS and repugnicants are playing fast and loose with poor and middle Americans’ health care. Circa $1 trillion roll-back of health care dollars to the 1% is not what DT promised all those poor people who sent him $25, only to $hit on them. Many people will die due to not having access to health care. Sounds like a version of Death Panels to me.
Urassmus B. Black
Hey colbert! I just fucked your wife, Evelyn McGee, so hard she bled all over your monolog. She's so bored of your irish mick 1-1/2 inch cock and my cock fit her mouth perfectly, like a holster. Oh, your doctor called and you have stage 4 colon cancer. Hope it fucking hurts and takes it's sweet ass time to eat you up. Now come here and lick Evelyn's cunt juice off my cock.
This guy is a pathetic loser.
Tony C.
Priebus is a true lackey.
Tony C.
Amazing how many people hate Trump. If only they were all allowed to vote.
Skylar Darkwing
Ok, so maybe the lunch thing isn't too bad. Sorry, but those meals weren't healthy. In fact I wouldn't consider most of them fit for human consumption. But it still pales in comparison to all the blunders he's had.
s. marty
who are Colbert's Hoosiers (sponsors) , 20 million people want to know ,
never buy their products again....only losers companies support losers
tony coppe
Can you bring this show to Australia, excellent entertainment, its Satire when the Truth Hurts.
Llda Schelhase
A good point brought out by this video - people who have a record of good health maintainance (annual checkups) etc. should be rewarded with the lowering of their premium costs based on the previous years medical records.
Llda Schelhase
Notice how his right ear is somewhat different from the left one - surgery maybe? Whatever the problem hope it hasn't affected his hearing.
Brad Reynolds
Check out this plan to make Donald and Kim Jong Un sing!
So he's asking to be overthrown?
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