How To Childproof Your Home Before A Visit From Trump

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With the NATO summit in Brussels coming up soon, world leaders are making sure there aren't any sharp corners or bottles of bleach within reach.

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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

John Zelener
I don't really understand, why are ignorant Americans laughing at Trump.
Because, he is un political or he is too straight forward in saying the truth. Was Mr &Mrs Clinton, or Bush better. Was Obama better. At least he is not a lying typical politician. Spin alot of sheet but do or say nothing.
Trump is not an actor or spent his life in politics. He is open minded and is not afraid to say the truth....
Andrea Mazzucco
"Leader of the free world"...that's not part of the title of president of the United states. No one gave it to you, you just took it. But at the end, who cares, I am the leader of the forgiving people of the Earth.
stray fiftynine
I Believe Colbert and his anonymous source, BATTERIES have short circuited.
redglitterdragon
No... the ENDING!!!!
Johnny Blazem
If trump was not president then he would have no material.
John Kochen
Believe me, nobody here thinks of Trump as their leader.
Ken McFadyen
Child like PANTLOAD
daiq9
are your sources legit?
windbreaker57
How can he have a short attention span when, in fact, he seems to pay a lot of attention to himself?
Frank Arschgesicht
Leader of the free "world" lol we don't want him... keep him for yourselves, we are good thanks!
Fukc Yuo
when did you join scientology
Tom T
i like to challenge these ducking talentless uneducated talk show hosts goes to a country like Cuba, or China and disrespect the leader of it country like they are doing right here in the US for an hour. I'm sure when they get back or if they ducking get back at all their yaps won't be ajar no longer. and those of you praise and encouraging their behaviors are also a bunch of low life buffoon losers. keep on getting stupider.
Joseph Patrick Fields
no
MG Wray
He hates exercise so much but he made that one Ms. Universe go into the gym surrounded by cameras because he said she was too fat.
Jose Acradio Buendia
How about a joke about child-proofing our country for coming of the murderous, racist, extremist, Islamic xenophobes who want resurrect the Islamic Empire? No, no these intolerant christian, jew, american, gay, lesbian, transgender, Buddhist, western women who want to drive and work HATERS are MORE of a threat than Donald Joseph Trump.
Lumby1
Golf is actually pretty good exercise, if you aren't riding around in a golf cart.
Cathie Penalagan
What a disgrace for the States. To think that it is their leader that everyone is having to treat like a retarded half-wit. Here is your chance to lock the doors and turn the lights off when he comes back and pretend nobody is home. Maybe he will just go away.
PrincessPonyButtercup
Goddamn you beautiful bastard, I nearly shot coffee out my nose at the end there! Bahahahaha!!!!
trnharris
'Not pregnant, just Chipotle'. - LOL
Gabriela Martel
I live in Brussels... Why cant you just keep him there in USA forever? This is your fault, this is your responsability... We shoudnt have to pay for your mistakes ! ;)
Michael Saint
YOU COLLEGE PUKE
GET BEHIND PRESIDENT TRUMP NOW YOU LITTLE ASS PIRATE LIBTARDED INFECTED SOB`S
I PRAY EVERY NIGHT FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP TO START THE DRAFT.............
Luar Rangel
Trump is an idiot, how come americans do not realize it...Go Colbert :D
Mikurunrun
This just in,Kylo is now the most popular baby name among single mothers.
Am the real Donald Duck
I am not a baby I just need a nap.
Cumbustible Ab0rtions
this dude must only be funny if you blindly hate trump. but even my liberal friends say there is nothing funny about Colbert.
EastOakland8500
Trump voters must be even more retarded than this dipshit
Rivero Montara
Not many people know this, but Melania is Trump's wife.
Harry Hurt
Why is the States considered a leader in anything? I mean they lack in education, healthcare, employment, infrastructure...they have a huge wealth gap, they owe trillions, they have committed numerous war crimes...have a really large nuclear arsenal...OH WAIT I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT.

Seriously the US is the most dangerous country in the world and is incredibly unstable, they are that loud and stupid bully that everyone has to be nice to because you are afraid they will snap and destroy everything.
Jj T
"Human body is a battery... which exercise depletes." NO WONDER TRUMP DOESN'T DO SHIT, JUST TO STAY HEALTY.
johnson ibe
Obama fooled by NATO
johnson ibe
Obama meddled in Russian elections
johnson ibe
Obama plotted to remove Benjamin netanyahu to install a liberal prime minister
johnson ibe
Bokoharam created under Obama. Refused to help then Nigerian president. thens of thousands of lives were lost because of Obama's stupid politics only interested in removing a christain president and installed Mohammed Buhari who has messed up the country
johnson ibe
China became world leading economy under Obama
johnson ibe
Russia annexed Crimea under Obama
johnson ibe
ISIS created under Obama watch
johnson ibe
Obama was oustmarted by the Russians and Syrians many times. Chemical weapons removed 100% according to Obama, but that later turned out as not being the case.
johnson ibe
US gave away trillions to terrorist Iran, and Iran still test nuclear weapon ,media dont talk about it.
johnson ibe
the world became a mess under kindegarten president OBAMA. The media doesnt talk about it
Lisa
Missed opportunity to say 'Lock up you pussy'
Pang Xiong
Thank you Mr. Colbert. 😂😂😂
Dave Thomas
leader of the Free world ?? US is not FREE....how about DRUMP first makes USA Free.....then worry about the World...
Elio Lopez
Comedians make us laugh because they tell us the truth. Keep it up Steve! Stay on the 'Orange Sphincter.'
Victor A
FAKE NEWS!
jake lin
Every time Stephen brings up the Miss USA Pageant I get excited for his jumping out TRUMP "HIYA" face with the jazz hands hahahah
Beatrice Blak
#DumpTrump
Project True Love
There is no God except Allah. Muhammad is a Messenger of Allah. Best Wishes.
monkeyman767
Please, PLEASE for the love of god stop with this "Leader of the Free World" bullshit. Other democracies actually work, win the popular vote? Good job you won. In america, win popular vote? Eh, maybe you won, who knows. Not democracy, no idea what it is, but its not the same democracy the rest of the world practices.
Shimohi Kagami
Well, the be exact, Oedipus himself didn't know who his biological father and mother were 'till after he killed his father, married his mother and had kids with her.

Not only was his reaction to this revelation possibly quite similar to your own if you found yourself in that situation (gouged his own eyes out). But, in a kind of ironic twist, the whole situation happened because of an attempt to prevent that from happening in the first place...

The joke was still funny, even if it was inaccurate to the actual story.
Bystander232
"The U.S. is the most important member of NATO." Oh no, that's like being the bride at a wedding and saying "Monogamy is obsolete; everybody into the flesh pile". Oy.

EDIT: If there wasn't a YouTube video of that wedding before, someone will do it now. ::head in hands::
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